A few weeks back I sent an email to a dear friend. I needed words of encouragement and advice. I was struggling to find my voice in the sea of bloggers. I don’t know if you have noticed, but this is the trending topic and it’s only getting more and more popular in my small town community. From makeup to documenting a fashionable outfit from your closet. At the end of the day we all want to identify ourself with the right label and grow successfully on social media. The only way to do this, seems to be through blogging. The only problem for me, I don’t know where or what to label myself as.
Am I a fashion blogger? Am I a mom blogger? Am I Lifestyle blogger? Am I spiritual blogger? Most of all, am I a cancer blogger? Where do I find my voice with all these up and coming trends? Cancer as defined my life. No doubt. So why would I incorporate fashion into something that is so devastating as cancer? Well, why not? Trying to make the most out of a bad situation.
I would constantly keep up with the most popular fashion bloggers on Instagram. This was my outlet from medical terms throughout my days at the Cancer Treatment Center. And for this, I always knew I wanted a fashion blog more than anything. They were so inspiring to me and following these fashionable things help take my mind off of the unthinkable.
So late one night, I started my blog through our journey. And there it started and has continued for two years now. Blogging the days not only through surgeries and medications, but also through fashionable items I would purchase for my mother as her caregiver. Every appointment the staff and doctors would comment on her shoes. My shoes. Her socks. My socks. Knowing I couldn’t have a true fashion blog, I desired for this was the next best thing to it and this is where it began.
But now, I would find myself stuck. What can I bring to the blogoshpere world? I want my blog to be useful. I want my blog to inspire you, to give you hope for those sleepless nights and understanding my heart the best way I can through the confusion about cancer and every day life. (I say everything through my words without an ounce of judgement because I am that person, who doesn’t understand anything.) Behind the blog, I’m the girl smelling essential oils, trying to calm my nervous, wild hair and no makeup just like the next average person.
With this being said, I have been so discouraged from blogging. It is very easy to grow an online following market when you are a Makeup artist/Hairstylist/Health or Fitness blogger. Also, when you have a pretty face and the personality that goes along with it. You have the total package. Every girl wants this! It’s the golden question of, ” HOW DO I MAKE MYSELF LOOK PRETTIER”. We all want that as girls. Every single one of us. Old and young. It’s easy to make a self label for us in these trending topics.
This one special girl in my life made me realize this. And she also made me realize that if anyone ever makes you feel intimidated. Unfollow them. Delete them. Even if it’s the spiritual bloggers. I thank her for this words. Yes, I was even thinking of stopping completely with blogging because I wasn’t “that girl”. It was a serious ParadiseRoad, road block!
I felt like I was running out of things to say and found myself aggravated instead of passionate about my journey. I realized I was going crazy trying to overly-post and gain followers. I wanted it so badly out of the two years of blogging and I wanted more than cancer to blog about.
And then …
And then after being so discouraged. I got a text, “did you know about this”? It was a sceenshot of, “Top Six Bloggers You Need To Be Following Right Now”.
Overjoyed, I reached out and couldn’t express the love I felt in that moment. Me. Little Ole Me. I was one of the top six. With absolutely no writing skills! I was top six!
I was so happy! And if it couldn’t have gotten any better. I few days later I checked my facebook account, (which I hardly ever check) I had a private message that read, “Hey Kacie! I got your information from … We’re starting a new morning show at KPLC on our Fox Station. Would you be willing to come on the show and talk about fashion and beauty and blogging.
Being on TV never crossed my mind as my first through was: HUH??? ME!!!!!! WHY ME!!!! WHO AM I??? I have always tried to think of others being more deserving of the spotlight. Honestly.
SO here I am. I had my first interview with the news station. I was seriously more nervous about the questions than the camera.
It was so funny, one question was asked: so describe your outfit. I look down and froze!! This is exactly what came out of my mouth, “it’s mesh and has flowers on it!” It’s mesh and has flowers on it??? It was the best I had at the time! So sorry to all my fashion bloggers out there! I totally let ya’ll down on that question!
So ask me if I’m struggling to find my voice in the sea of bloggers? Yes! Absolutely!
But my voice is not only the voice for myself anymore. It’s for my mother as well. It’s for you guys. It’s for ovarian cancer. Cancer Patients. It’s for anyone and everyone who feels alone, helpless or discouraged. It’s for spiritual or for anyone who has little spirit at all.
I have realized that even though I might not fit the typical fashion blog label, my voice is expanding my horizons beyond the current trends. Finding my voice means searching for what has made me passionate, heartbroken and bursting to find ambition. I don’t want to label myself under one particular role. I was stuck inside the role I was giving myself.
I’m still initially shocked by all of this and beyond grateful for my mustard seed of Faith through this entire journey, wherever it leads me.
Details: Photography Pictures By, Anna Buller @stdo_underground Via Instagram
Outfit Details: Timing Floral Embroidered Mesh Top | Michael Kors Ankle Pants | Jessica Simpson Heels .. all can be purchased through Dillards.
Link to Visitlakecharles.org here:
Link to Fox 29 interview here: