(wine glass idea)
WOW – I’m so backed up with post that I have been wanting to share, so bare with me as I’m only just beginning. I’m trying to catch up on over-due posts that are starting to build up on me. I have been extremely busy from new job promotion, to remodeling my own personal space at home, (which, I’m so excited to reveal soon, with an opportunity that came about doing so) travel ball, (thank goodness, last weekend coming up) and most importantly spending all the extra time with my mother, who is by the way doing fabulous at the moment until round (3) of chemo. We got her up to 99 pounds, thank you Burger King for your new 1200 calorie burger!!!
I have so much to say and almost can’t believe I didn’t start blogging years ago! I guess that is what happens when you truly are finding yourself through the life God wants you to live and seeing his blessing shine upon you, even in the bad times of life. I do however, have a lot of silly/fun post ahead from new boxes being delivered at my doorstep that doesn’t consist of makeup! (if you can believe that). Have any of you ever heard of “Try the World” box? Apparently, it’s different samples of food around the world to try. “Million Dollar Shave Co.” it’s for a man but hey – most of the time men razors are the BEST for a girl to use. So, I’m excited to share my reviews on new and upcoming adventures. I’m also looking forward to sharing a lot of, “living with chemo” meal planning coming your way. so stay tuned and leave me a comment on what you would like to see!? A blogger needs feedback good or bad and I’m here to take it all in.
It has been so surreal going through the journey of cancer with my mother. There are things that I will think about forevermore, there will not be a day that goes by that I think of something from the past (3) months. The memories will live with me forever, certain smells that I’ll never forget, melt downs that I have experienced and the expressions of my mothers face sitting in countless number of offices. It has truly impacted my life forever. Sometimes I feel like I need a day off just from my thoughts alone, from the moment I get up to the time I go to bed, I have at least one melt down a day. Which is a huge improvement believe it or not. Over this past weekend, while watching my son play on his travel ball team, I was sitting in the stands and it just hit me. I don’t know what it was, but the tears came coming down. On the way home, same thing. I just started crying! I seriously think someone could tell me they seen a rabbit hop across the road and I would just burst into tears. The sad part about it, I know exactly what is wrong with me.
I’m trying to heal from a broken heart.
Like deeply broken. So broken I don’t know if it will ever be the same and the fear that realization is knowing what you use to enjoy has turned into “remember when”. I have asked myself this very question “Will I ever be happy, the way I see other people happy in life”? I looked around over the weekend and seen people/families in the stands and standing up by the fence at the ball park, laughing and talking – going about their normal lives. After the game, the crew was hungry and decided to get something to eat, so to included my son in the mix and make sure he doesn’t miss out on memories, we headed to join them but there I was driving along and BAM – melt down before walking in the restaurant. Thankfully, I had the Merle Norman compact handy. I quickly caked it on over my red chubby cheeks. While sitting at the table it was hard to engage in conversation. The happiness that took over the room as families talked about Halloween plans and hay rides. To most it doesn’t sound like a big deal but those are the little things to me that make me happy. Although, life is hard to navigate right now, I know acknowledging and acting like everything is fine is what I need to do to get to that next step. Through having those good friends that push you and make you fix yourself up. Yes, no doubt it helps cover up your pain but to embrace one another with a greater knowledge, appreciation and to help where possible is sometimes all a lonely soul needs.
My girlfriend talked me into attending this event, I didn’t think about it in the beginning because if I did, I would have talked myself out if it. I’m so glad I didn’t because if you think about things long enough, it’s only going to stop you from missing out on great opportunities and getting a chance on meeting some beautiful people along the way. This was our “team” for the night. “Zinful”. Our team had to bring our own choice of wine to include with others that we were secretly trying to figure out the taste and smells. Some were great choices and others, – well, the others hit the bottom of the spit bucket. I’m never been a big drinker of any sort. In fact, most of the time I’m still sipping on the same glass of wine toward the end of the night, if I haven’t already moved to H20. I’m pretty much the girl in the corner observing. However, on this occasion I was surrounded by cheese and some of the most influential people, I will ever meet. I encourage you to give back to others for the world can be such a beautiful place, especially the people within it.
Below are the beautiful women of Beauregard Uncorked.
Beauregard Uncorked was founded on the principle of helping other non-profits in my local hometown. For more information on this please check out the website here: http://www.beauregarduncorked.com/Home.html