There were days this past year that I experienced a great deal of disappointment in comforting; things that seemed unfair on decisions, road blocks, hopelessness and suffering. I repeat, a ton of suffering.
The kind of suffering that makes you think you won’t make it through to the next morning. I never wanted my life to be like this and I never thought I would be at a point of hitting the bottomless pit of depression, suffering from PTSD, and not to mention, the stress and strain of everyday life with marriage, career and motherhood.
Yet, in the midst of all this, there has been profound learning, a transformation through Faith and growth of maturity on some levels. On my last birthday, I was literary on a plane flying my mother to receive her first round of chemotherapy, but how great is OUR GOD to allow me to be able to experience the bad with the good this past year of my life.
Weirdly enough, life challenges and heartaches can bring great joy in the mist of tragedy. Of course, there is going to be days were death has to happen whether, from cancer or all of the sudden experiences. Will I be angry or mad at GOD? Of course NOT!
I feel the Lord is preparing me for those days ahead, for whatever the case may be. None of us will be ready for those devastating days , but, hopefully I can have a healthy state-of-mind if those times come and other things we cannot control from reality.
This is why I’m trying to heal myself this year, as a present to myself on my birthday. I’m not talking about the, “oh, I’m going to drink more water” or the “oh, I’m going to try to lose that extra 10 pounds”. I’m talking about the stuff most people don’t want to talk about; serious topics on lifting yourself up from depression, sickness/illness and everyday life issues such as marriage and motherhood.
I’m turning 32 this year and I’m creating a “32 Fall Bucket List” for myself. I hope you will join me and start a challenge for yourself. Let us try to embrace the joy we once had in our hearts as little girls, especially when the world wants to judge and tear us down as adults.
The first thing I will be addressing on my “32 Fall Bucket List” is bullying! This is a serious topic for both adults and children. Stay tuned for the 32 fall bucket list challenge part one on bullying.
all photos by: http://www.jocelynphillipsphotography.com/
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